I have avoided doing this post for a little while now. After posting about Argentina, I haven't had the desire to blog again. I'm glad I did it this year as it allowed me to write down my thoughts and through that I was able to process what was going on. A lot of people who read my posts sensed a lot of struggle. Struggle is what I have gone through this year. Some have said I have been a little hard on myself and that could be true. I think I needed this year to struggle and wrestle through a lot of things. Another way of putting it is heart surgery. Like surgery, this year has been a process for me. A year of putting the pieces together and building a foundation that is fully God centred. I can, with a 100% confidence, say that I have really matured this year. It has been an amazing year of growth this year amidst the personal struggle that I have gone through. This struggle was simply putting the pieces of a puzzle together that have been scrambled for the last little while. The journey does not end here. It has just begun. This journey is a life time thing. It has been hard to come back home and adjust to life away from Kaleo but I am excited to see what God has in store for me.
It didn't really hit me that I was going home until I was on the plane from Calgary to London. Some times it feels that if I close my eyes I'll be back. haha. When I got of the plane I had an hour ride back to my home. This was a chance to talk with my parents. Which was really good. My relationship with them is a lot better than it has been in the past. I have become pretty independant and become mature in my walk with God has really helped. I'm excited to spend time with them this summer even tho it is weird for me because I havent lived at home in quite some time. A lot of things have changed at home. Exciting things. Relationships with one another is a lot better. I am going to be a light at home. I changed a lot and I knew a lot of the things I have learned that I will be able to apply to life in the world again. I didn't think it was going happen so soon. I have been able to speak a lot to my dad. It is amazing. We are even doing devotions together which is supper exciting. A lot of my friends are far away so that has been tough to adjust to. I got to live and know kaleo really well and it was so good to have people around all the time.
It has been hard to talk with other people. The question i get all the time is " what are you going to do next year?" It's a very legitimate question but it is hard to answer. I wanted to share about what went on this year. As much fun as it is to share about all the cool opportunities i did I would like to share what's going on in my heart. No one asks me about what i have done this year. It's hard and it hurts because i want to share of what went on. There's a lot more beyond the blog posts. It is hard to grasp what Kaleo is and what it means to everyone who has done it. I know I shouldn't be frustrated when people don't ask, because they probably don't know what to ask or know what went on. I hope in due time that people will ask. I'm excited to talk about it.
And back to the question. I have no clue what is going on next year. I am excited however. I thought it was to hard to figure that out at Kaleo. I need a rest and in this time at home during the summer I will figure it out. It's okay to get asked this question but it does get asked a lot haha. I am not stressing about the future. It is in God's hands and I will go wherever he leads me. I am content on taking a year off because I don't want to jump into a another program. I have done Redeemer for a year and Kaleo for a year. I feel as though I will be on the missions field somewhere. I am taking this year to work a bit, travel, or go on a mission trip. If that is not the plan and I am to go to school I will. I haven't figured it out yet but I have some time too.
I don't really know what to post anymore. My thoughts are all over the place. I loved my time in BC and my heart is changed. I am walking in confidence and I am allowing God to take over. I am no longer focused on myself rather my focus has shifted on to God.
We had a question on our final exam asking "What are you learning to love?" I am learning to love who God is and what he is doing in my life.
I am well and content :)
4/30/11
3/28/11
Argentina Part 2: Don't Cry For Me Argentina
My last post was an attempt to give an overview of what went on in Argentina. For the first little while I was there I could not believe that I was in South America. It blew my mind that I was flying there and that I was going spend 2 weeks there. I had an amazing time and it was a really impactfull trip for me. After spending a week back I have really processed what happened and remember stories all the time. It is a trip that has changed me. My biggest highlight was the retreat so I want to talk a little more about what that retreat was.
To be honest I didn't know how the retreat was going to end up. We planned a little bit for it and got a general idea of what was going to happen but I just didn't know what was going to happen or what to really expect. The kids came at around 4 and we left shortly after that. At first I felt that it was going to be a gong show, but it ended up being one of the best times I have had in a long time. I had an amazing time talking with the kids and building relationships. It was just a sweet time for the kids to bond and build relationships and it was sweet to be a part of it. I gave my all that weekend and it was sweet that the kids bounced off our energy and participated in the games and activities that we had. One cool thing on the first night was start tipping. It is where you look at a star and spin in circles for a long time and then someone shines a light and the object is to run to the light. However, you get disoriented and pretty much fall down. It was a great connecting point and we were really able to befriend everyone at the retreat. The second day there was a lot of things we planned and it went sweet. We had a long period of free time and it was really sweet to hang out with the Alloy kids. One of my favourite memories was on Saturday where with a group of kids I got to know really well, we were all laying down in a circle talking about how big God is and how has made every star. We ending singing songs of praise and it was just a sweet night. I really loved hearing the stories of people and where they were coming from. I thought that moving around from country to country would be a sweet way to grow up. However, after hearing their stories I began to realize the hardships that come with moving around from place to place. It is not an easy thing. One of the girls I was talking to said she has moved to more than 5 countries and was blown away that I have lived my life growing up in one place. I began to realize how much of a blessing it was to grow up in one place. At the end of the retreat I befriended so much of the kids that came from the retreat. I called them kids at the beginning of the retreat and by the end I was calling them friends. A lot of them where really mature for their age. It was a blessing being able to be friends. They really accepted us with open arms. There was a game named stephen working as a youth pastor down there so we helped with building relationships for him so that it would be a smooth transition. He did an amazing job with the talks we had and didn't force anything on the kids. It was great because it seemed like they got something out of what we were trying to accomplish. I had a conversation with one of the kids and they said that the last retreat they were on all they did was intense bible study. We played a lot of games, but the purpose was to build relationships. Having chapel after chapel is, in my opinion, not an effective way to reach out to kids. There are many stories that will forever be etched onto my heart. It was one of the best experiences that I had working in youth ministry. It went so smoothly and I really enjoyed what we accomplished.
This mission trip was about supporting the work of Youth For Christ and I feel we experienced missionary life with the Rendles. Jordan Rendle is the head of Youth For Christ America, so we came down to support what is happening in Argentina. It was different then your typical go build a house mission trip. It was about supporting Youth For Christ and about building relationships. I could go on and on about what happened, but like I said in my previous post it wouldn't do justice to what happened.
When I came back from Argentina I was the only Kaleo at camp. I thought it would be a good chance to get rest. I didn't make plans to go anywhere. It wasn't a good place for me to be. I didn't do anything and it was hard being back and wanting to be back in Argentina. I think God really softened my heart in Argentina. This year has been filled with a lot of struggle and in Argentina I was really able to be myself amidst a year where struggle has been so prevalent. When everyone came back it got a lot better. I learned a lot about myself in Argentina and now I know I have to be more obedient in my walk with God. Going through this year has been a blessing for me. I think I needed to go through struggle this year so that it would allow me to see that I need a lot to work on in my faith. This place called Kaleo has been a chance to step out of the world in order to be put back into the world with a firm grasp of who God is. This has been a learning year for me and I am beginning to put my trust in God. I don't know fully whats happening next year, but I am excited for it. I have allowed God to be the one leading my life and I'm excited to know where that is going to lead. I am on a journey and this year of struggle has been a learning curve for me.
To be honest I didn't know how the retreat was going to end up. We planned a little bit for it and got a general idea of what was going to happen but I just didn't know what was going to happen or what to really expect. The kids came at around 4 and we left shortly after that. At first I felt that it was going to be a gong show, but it ended up being one of the best times I have had in a long time. I had an amazing time talking with the kids and building relationships. It was just a sweet time for the kids to bond and build relationships and it was sweet to be a part of it. I gave my all that weekend and it was sweet that the kids bounced off our energy and participated in the games and activities that we had. One cool thing on the first night was start tipping. It is where you look at a star and spin in circles for a long time and then someone shines a light and the object is to run to the light. However, you get disoriented and pretty much fall down. It was a great connecting point and we were really able to befriend everyone at the retreat. The second day there was a lot of things we planned and it went sweet. We had a long period of free time and it was really sweet to hang out with the Alloy kids. One of my favourite memories was on Saturday where with a group of kids I got to know really well, we were all laying down in a circle talking about how big God is and how has made every star. We ending singing songs of praise and it was just a sweet night. I really loved hearing the stories of people and where they were coming from. I thought that moving around from country to country would be a sweet way to grow up. However, after hearing their stories I began to realize the hardships that come with moving around from place to place. It is not an easy thing. One of the girls I was talking to said she has moved to more than 5 countries and was blown away that I have lived my life growing up in one place. I began to realize how much of a blessing it was to grow up in one place. At the end of the retreat I befriended so much of the kids that came from the retreat. I called them kids at the beginning of the retreat and by the end I was calling them friends. A lot of them where really mature for their age. It was a blessing being able to be friends. They really accepted us with open arms. There was a game named stephen working as a youth pastor down there so we helped with building relationships for him so that it would be a smooth transition. He did an amazing job with the talks we had and didn't force anything on the kids. It was great because it seemed like they got something out of what we were trying to accomplish. I had a conversation with one of the kids and they said that the last retreat they were on all they did was intense bible study. We played a lot of games, but the purpose was to build relationships. Having chapel after chapel is, in my opinion, not an effective way to reach out to kids. There are many stories that will forever be etched onto my heart. It was one of the best experiences that I had working in youth ministry. It went so smoothly and I really enjoyed what we accomplished.
This mission trip was about supporting the work of Youth For Christ and I feel we experienced missionary life with the Rendles. Jordan Rendle is the head of Youth For Christ America, so we came down to support what is happening in Argentina. It was different then your typical go build a house mission trip. It was about supporting Youth For Christ and about building relationships. I could go on and on about what happened, but like I said in my previous post it wouldn't do justice to what happened.
When I came back from Argentina I was the only Kaleo at camp. I thought it would be a good chance to get rest. I didn't make plans to go anywhere. It wasn't a good place for me to be. I didn't do anything and it was hard being back and wanting to be back in Argentina. I think God really softened my heart in Argentina. This year has been filled with a lot of struggle and in Argentina I was really able to be myself amidst a year where struggle has been so prevalent. When everyone came back it got a lot better. I learned a lot about myself in Argentina and now I know I have to be more obedient in my walk with God. Going through this year has been a blessing for me. I think I needed to go through struggle this year so that it would allow me to see that I need a lot to work on in my faith. This place called Kaleo has been a chance to step out of the world in order to be put back into the world with a firm grasp of who God is. This has been a learning year for me and I am beginning to put my trust in God. I don't know fully whats happening next year, but I am excited for it. I have allowed God to be the one leading my life and I'm excited to know where that is going to lead. I am on a journey and this year of struggle has been a learning curve for me.
3/27/11
Argentina Part 1: Overview
Writer's block - The condition of being unable to think of what to write or how to proceed with writing.
I tried to write this blogpost the other day, but I couldn't think of what to write or where to start. I tried by telling every little detail of what I did in Argentina. After pondering what to write for the past 5 days I realize it isn't possible to write everything down at once when talking about Argentina. Last night we had a sharing time to talk about each mission trip. There I realized it won't be possible for me to do justice in a blogpost about what happened. We talked for 4 and a half hours last night and in my opinion and much of the other Kaleo's opininons, we only got to hear a small fraction of what happened in India, Vancouver, Mexico, and Argentina. There are so many good stories to write down and to think about. After 5 days of being back I am still remembering things that have happened. It's a lot like talking about what has happened this year in Kaleo. There is so much to talk about that it is hard to know where to start or to know what stories to share. In this post I will try to give an overview of what I did down in Argentina, but know that there is so much more going on behind the stories. Don't think of this as a cheap way out of telling the story, but a small story of what actual happened. I'm not going to say the specific time slots of each story, but understand that the trip started on March 7 and ended on March 22. Here is my best attempt at explaining not only the story, but my heart as I was in Argentina.
Ready or not we left for Argentina on March 7th. I hadn't really thought enough about the trip or did enough to get myself ready for this trip. At Kaleo there is so much going on that it was hard to think that I was indeed flying to Buenos Aires. Much like my last mission trip I stepped with other into what seems like the unknown. After 30+ hours of travel we finally arrived and were greeted with warm weather and some of the family we were going to be staying with. Our leader, Melissa Holland, set up a trip with her sister and brother in law who is the current head of Youth For Christ America. So from that we knew we were going to be working alongside Youth For Christ in Argentina. The big thing that we had to plan for was a retreat that would be happening the first weekend we where there. We planned a little bit for it while in Canada but the planning really started the Thursday we were there. The first day was getting settled in and getting acquainted with the Rendel family. We went for a walk through Argentina and I still couldn't fathom that we were in fact in South America.
The next day we spent the day planning what would take part at the retreat we were going be putting on. We were going to be working with ALLOY, which is a youth group for third culture kids in Argentina. We had planned a kingdom theme and were going along with that for our weekend. We got a lot of stuff planned and planned on Friday as well. It was hard to plan because we weren't exactly sure where we were going. So on Friday at 4 a whole bunch of kids showed up and in an hour or so we loaded up a bus and were headed to the camp ground for our retreat. It was pretty crazy if you ask me. For one, I didn't know how this retreat was going to look like or end up being. I was a little terrified if you ask me. Anyways it ended up being a gong show at first, but after playing our night game, Capture the Canadian, it transformed into a smooth transition. It felt as though the gong show I thought was going happen was actually going be a pretty significant weekend for a not only the kids, but us leaders as well. I really felt that they opened up there arms and really accepted us as family. We built a lot of relationships and the weekend went so well. I will talk more about that after this overview. It was sad to have the weekend end, but that wasn't the end of the bond we made with those kids that weekend. We got back on sunday and then we went to go see a South American soccer game (so intense!) and then went to go watch Jordy, the rendals son, play hockey... Well inline hockey, which was still funny to me to have hockey in Argentina. Who knew.
Then on monday we worked at a place called Conviven, which is a drop in centre kind of thing that teaches skills such as photography and provides a place for kids for a day camp or something like that. It is in a pretty poor end of town so it was good to see that and to serve in this way. We took on the job of painting the computer room, which took two days. It wasn't a big room but it was a tricky room with all the wiring and what not. I got a little high of the paint fumes but nonetheless we did a pretty good job of painting the room. Tuesday was our day off and so we travelled the city of Buenos Aires. There is a pretty huge contrast in terms of the rich and the poor in Argentina so we saw that on our tour of the city. It was one of those "Were in Argentina!" kinda of days. It was good to tour around and to know a lot about the city. At night we went to go see Jordy's recital and go for Asado, which is all you can eat meat! Argentine's are known for their beef so we got to witness and taste it. So amazing.
On Wednesday we went to go look at a camp which was 45 minutes away, but because of Argentine traffic (13 million people) it took us a mere 6 hours of travel there and back. There was a lot of potential for the camp so it was good for us to go see it and it gives Youth For Christ something to ponder. The camp wasn't doing so well so we went there to support their ministry and to pray that something would change. We also went to a Starbucks (it's seriously going take over the world....) in South America! I really did miss Timmy's though. Thursday we went back to Conviven. Friday we stayed at the Rendals and planned what we were going to do for the Alloy youth group happening that night and for what we were going do at Conviven on Saturday. We planned sort of a debrief for Alloy to remember what happened at the retreat and continued to build relationships within the group. We made a slideshow and it was incredible to watch it with the friends we made on that retreat. I could go on and on about it, but I'll save that for part 2 of this blog post. Saturday we helped out with a day camp at Conviven for the kids that showed up there. We took some Alloy kids with us and they really helped us out because all the kids spoke spanish and well... you get the idea. They were phenominal at it and made it easier for us to talk to the kids. It was a blast, but I wish I could have learned spanish so that I could have related more to the kids. Saturday night we were invited for a bbq with some of the people we got to know at the retreat. It was a great way to end the week as we were trying to plan something with the Alloy kids all week.
Sunday came around really fast. It was the last day we were there and it was a sad day. It didn't feel like the last day, but unfortunately it was. It was sad to say goodbye to the friends we met on saturday. I don't know if I will ever see them again. Sunday we went to a spanish church where I learned nothing haha. Then we went out for lunch and headed home to go pack and finish saying goodbyes. We left Argentina on sunday night and I arrived back at home/camp after another 30+ hours.
This is my feeble attempt at sharing what went on in Argentina. There is so much more to talk about in which I will try to share in my next post that I will put up shortly. God did amazing things in Argentina and it was sweet to witness it while working with Youth For Christ. It was an amazing two weeks that I got to spend down in Argentina.
I tried to write this blogpost the other day, but I couldn't think of what to write or where to start. I tried by telling every little detail of what I did in Argentina. After pondering what to write for the past 5 days I realize it isn't possible to write everything down at once when talking about Argentina. Last night we had a sharing time to talk about each mission trip. There I realized it won't be possible for me to do justice in a blogpost about what happened. We talked for 4 and a half hours last night and in my opinion and much of the other Kaleo's opininons, we only got to hear a small fraction of what happened in India, Vancouver, Mexico, and Argentina. There are so many good stories to write down and to think about. After 5 days of being back I am still remembering things that have happened. It's a lot like talking about what has happened this year in Kaleo. There is so much to talk about that it is hard to know where to start or to know what stories to share. In this post I will try to give an overview of what I did down in Argentina, but know that there is so much more going on behind the stories. Don't think of this as a cheap way out of telling the story, but a small story of what actual happened. I'm not going to say the specific time slots of each story, but understand that the trip started on March 7 and ended on March 22. Here is my best attempt at explaining not only the story, but my heart as I was in Argentina.
Ready or not we left for Argentina on March 7th. I hadn't really thought enough about the trip or did enough to get myself ready for this trip. At Kaleo there is so much going on that it was hard to think that I was indeed flying to Buenos Aires. Much like my last mission trip I stepped with other into what seems like the unknown. After 30+ hours of travel we finally arrived and were greeted with warm weather and some of the family we were going to be staying with. Our leader, Melissa Holland, set up a trip with her sister and brother in law who is the current head of Youth For Christ America. So from that we knew we were going to be working alongside Youth For Christ in Argentina. The big thing that we had to plan for was a retreat that would be happening the first weekend we where there. We planned a little bit for it while in Canada but the planning really started the Thursday we were there. The first day was getting settled in and getting acquainted with the Rendel family. We went for a walk through Argentina and I still couldn't fathom that we were in fact in South America.
The next day we spent the day planning what would take part at the retreat we were going be putting on. We were going to be working with ALLOY, which is a youth group for third culture kids in Argentina. We had planned a kingdom theme and were going along with that for our weekend. We got a lot of stuff planned and planned on Friday as well. It was hard to plan because we weren't exactly sure where we were going. So on Friday at 4 a whole bunch of kids showed up and in an hour or so we loaded up a bus and were headed to the camp ground for our retreat. It was pretty crazy if you ask me. For one, I didn't know how this retreat was going to look like or end up being. I was a little terrified if you ask me. Anyways it ended up being a gong show at first, but after playing our night game, Capture the Canadian, it transformed into a smooth transition. It felt as though the gong show I thought was going happen was actually going be a pretty significant weekend for a not only the kids, but us leaders as well. I really felt that they opened up there arms and really accepted us as family. We built a lot of relationships and the weekend went so well. I will talk more about that after this overview. It was sad to have the weekend end, but that wasn't the end of the bond we made with those kids that weekend. We got back on sunday and then we went to go see a South American soccer game (so intense!) and then went to go watch Jordy, the rendals son, play hockey... Well inline hockey, which was still funny to me to have hockey in Argentina. Who knew.
Then on monday we worked at a place called Conviven, which is a drop in centre kind of thing that teaches skills such as photography and provides a place for kids for a day camp or something like that. It is in a pretty poor end of town so it was good to see that and to serve in this way. We took on the job of painting the computer room, which took two days. It wasn't a big room but it was a tricky room with all the wiring and what not. I got a little high of the paint fumes but nonetheless we did a pretty good job of painting the room. Tuesday was our day off and so we travelled the city of Buenos Aires. There is a pretty huge contrast in terms of the rich and the poor in Argentina so we saw that on our tour of the city. It was one of those "Were in Argentina!" kinda of days. It was good to tour around and to know a lot about the city. At night we went to go see Jordy's recital and go for Asado, which is all you can eat meat! Argentine's are known for their beef so we got to witness and taste it. So amazing.
On Wednesday we went to go look at a camp which was 45 minutes away, but because of Argentine traffic (13 million people) it took us a mere 6 hours of travel there and back. There was a lot of potential for the camp so it was good for us to go see it and it gives Youth For Christ something to ponder. The camp wasn't doing so well so we went there to support their ministry and to pray that something would change. We also went to a Starbucks (it's seriously going take over the world....) in South America! I really did miss Timmy's though. Thursday we went back to Conviven. Friday we stayed at the Rendals and planned what we were going to do for the Alloy youth group happening that night and for what we were going do at Conviven on Saturday. We planned sort of a debrief for Alloy to remember what happened at the retreat and continued to build relationships within the group. We made a slideshow and it was incredible to watch it with the friends we made on that retreat. I could go on and on about it, but I'll save that for part 2 of this blog post. Saturday we helped out with a day camp at Conviven for the kids that showed up there. We took some Alloy kids with us and they really helped us out because all the kids spoke spanish and well... you get the idea. They were phenominal at it and made it easier for us to talk to the kids. It was a blast, but I wish I could have learned spanish so that I could have related more to the kids. Saturday night we were invited for a bbq with some of the people we got to know at the retreat. It was a great way to end the week as we were trying to plan something with the Alloy kids all week.
Sunday came around really fast. It was the last day we were there and it was a sad day. It didn't feel like the last day, but unfortunately it was. It was sad to say goodbye to the friends we met on saturday. I don't know if I will ever see them again. Sunday we went to a spanish church where I learned nothing haha. Then we went out for lunch and headed home to go pack and finish saying goodbyes. We left Argentina on sunday night and I arrived back at home/camp after another 30+ hours.
This is my feeble attempt at sharing what went on in Argentina. There is so much more to talk about in which I will try to share in my next post that I will put up shortly. God did amazing things in Argentina and it was sweet to witness it while working with Youth For Christ. It was an amazing two weeks that I got to spend down in Argentina.
3/6/11
Exit Signs
It would be much easier to go through the exit. However God is alling me to pursue the rest of this year. I'm excited to see whats going happen in the next little while. I know I wouldn't be the person I am if I didnt' persevere this year. No one said it was going to be tough or easy. I can tell you it's been a hard year. Someone asked me if I learned anything here. I am confident in saying yes I have learned so much behind quiet struggle. It has been a year of growth. I struggled quietly this year, not letting people know truly what I was thinking or feeling. God has made it known that I have to let things go and to let people in on whats going on in my life.
This past week we had a chapel and in that chapel the girls initiated something to let the guys know how much they do care for us. They didnt do anything boastful or over the top, but something servently. They each encouraged one person, than proceeded to wash our feet. It was to say the least unexpected but nonetheless beautiful and encouraging. I didn't feel worthy to have my feet washed, but they did it out of love. Our community has lacked being open, honest, and trusting. For the whole year we have been waitng for something big to happen and in that we didn't know how to really talk to one another. we have to, in a way, go back to the start (que coldplay....now!) and become honest and trusting. Nothing big is going happen until we are able to come alongside one another.
It's never to late for a "do-over". This past week we had a guy named Matthew come and share his testimony and he challenged us with his story. He did bible school for a year and then turned away from God for 14 years and is now back for his "do-over". It struck a chord with a lot of people here because like I said, our community hasn't always been that great. This year for me has been a time to break down walls that I have come to surround myself with. I need to surrender myself and be open with not only the people, but most importantly the Lord. I lack in the prayer and reading department, but recently I have gotten back into it. When I am in tune with the Lord I have a lot of joy and when im not I'm longing for the joy that I have when I'm in tune with the Lord
This week we had to say goodbye to a brother. He was a difficult person to love and he admitted this before he left. I had trouble loving him, but through his question and attitude I saw a lot of who I used to be. He challenged me a lot and even though I didn't get to know him a whole lot he did challenge me. It was sad/hard to say goodbye to him because he was finally at the point to accept the community. It took a lot out of our community and it was hard to say bye. I'm regretting not getting to know him more. I can just imagine the pain at the end of this year. I have come to love this community and its going be tough to say goodbye amidst the hardship that this year has brought.
My brothers and sisters who are going to India had a pretty tough week this week. I urge you who are reading to take the time right now to stope reading my blog and to pray for my friends going to India. Even though you don't know them, I encourage you to pray. In the larger picture we are all family. Please pray for strength. Not only physical strength but also mental and most of all spiritual strength. Pray that they will be the hands and feet of Christ and that they will surrender to what the Lord has in store. Pray for boldness. Pray that throughout their struggle or whatever is hindering them that they will be able to persevere. They are going to be a light in a dark place in the world.
This week I had Gospels. We went through matthew while making pit stops in Mark, Luke, and John. There was SO much to be taught. I would have loved to have this class for a longer period of time rather than a week. There is so much to learn about Jesus and his teachings. We went back to essentially the very core Christian beliefs. It was refreshing to go into depth. It was like having a week long Bible study.
It has been a pretty hard week. I had a lot of class and then an exam and paper due on the weekend and on top of that I had to get ready for Argentina! I am looking forward to what God is going to do through me. We are going to be doing some pretty cool things. We are putting on a retreat, doing some "hands-on" things, putting on a day camp, and of course touring around Argentina. Nothing is set in stone, but I know that it's going to be an impacting trip in which God is going to challenge me. I ask you again to pray for me. Pray that I may take initiative to take every opportunity and use it for God's glory. Pray that I will go there not to be served, but to serve the Argentina community. PRay also that I may have boldness and have a willingness to serve with humbleness. I can't believe I drive out tomorrow to vancouver and fly out tuesday!
Although this week was busy I was still able to enjoy the company of my sister dorm. We haven't really done anything so we had a dorm date! Me and Erik too them to the Badke's house for a tea party (Yeah that's right a tea party) and then we made encouragement cards for our amazing interns. This hasn't been just a hard year for me or the other students, but also for all the leaders involved. The year hasn't gone how they envisioned it, but nonetheless it is a year of grace amidst the struggle. Anyways thats it until I come back from Argentina. I appreciate all your prayers. Peace be with you.
This past week we had a chapel and in that chapel the girls initiated something to let the guys know how much they do care for us. They didnt do anything boastful or over the top, but something servently. They each encouraged one person, than proceeded to wash our feet. It was to say the least unexpected but nonetheless beautiful and encouraging. I didn't feel worthy to have my feet washed, but they did it out of love. Our community has lacked being open, honest, and trusting. For the whole year we have been waitng for something big to happen and in that we didn't know how to really talk to one another. we have to, in a way, go back to the start (que coldplay....now!) and become honest and trusting. Nothing big is going happen until we are able to come alongside one another.
It's never to late for a "do-over". This past week we had a guy named Matthew come and share his testimony and he challenged us with his story. He did bible school for a year and then turned away from God for 14 years and is now back for his "do-over". It struck a chord with a lot of people here because like I said, our community hasn't always been that great. This year for me has been a time to break down walls that I have come to surround myself with. I need to surrender myself and be open with not only the people, but most importantly the Lord. I lack in the prayer and reading department, but recently I have gotten back into it. When I am in tune with the Lord I have a lot of joy and when im not I'm longing for the joy that I have when I'm in tune with the Lord
This week we had to say goodbye to a brother. He was a difficult person to love and he admitted this before he left. I had trouble loving him, but through his question and attitude I saw a lot of who I used to be. He challenged me a lot and even though I didn't get to know him a whole lot he did challenge me. It was sad/hard to say goodbye to him because he was finally at the point to accept the community. It took a lot out of our community and it was hard to say bye. I'm regretting not getting to know him more. I can just imagine the pain at the end of this year. I have come to love this community and its going be tough to say goodbye amidst the hardship that this year has brought.
My brothers and sisters who are going to India had a pretty tough week this week. I urge you who are reading to take the time right now to stope reading my blog and to pray for my friends going to India. Even though you don't know them, I encourage you to pray. In the larger picture we are all family. Please pray for strength. Not only physical strength but also mental and most of all spiritual strength. Pray that they will be the hands and feet of Christ and that they will surrender to what the Lord has in store. Pray for boldness. Pray that throughout their struggle or whatever is hindering them that they will be able to persevere. They are going to be a light in a dark place in the world.
This week I had Gospels. We went through matthew while making pit stops in Mark, Luke, and John. There was SO much to be taught. I would have loved to have this class for a longer period of time rather than a week. There is so much to learn about Jesus and his teachings. We went back to essentially the very core Christian beliefs. It was refreshing to go into depth. It was like having a week long Bible study.
It has been a pretty hard week. I had a lot of class and then an exam and paper due on the weekend and on top of that I had to get ready for Argentina! I am looking forward to what God is going to do through me. We are going to be doing some pretty cool things. We are putting on a retreat, doing some "hands-on" things, putting on a day camp, and of course touring around Argentina. Nothing is set in stone, but I know that it's going to be an impacting trip in which God is going to challenge me. I ask you again to pray for me. Pray that I may take initiative to take every opportunity and use it for God's glory. Pray that I will go there not to be served, but to serve the Argentina community. PRay also that I may have boldness and have a willingness to serve with humbleness. I can't believe I drive out tomorrow to vancouver and fly out tuesday!
Although this week was busy I was still able to enjoy the company of my sister dorm. We haven't really done anything so we had a dorm date! Me and Erik too them to the Badke's house for a tea party (Yeah that's right a tea party) and then we made encouragement cards for our amazing interns. This hasn't been just a hard year for me or the other students, but also for all the leaders involved. The year hasn't gone how they envisioned it, but nonetheless it is a year of grace amidst the struggle. Anyways thats it until I come back from Argentina. I appreciate all your prayers. Peace be with you.
3/1/11
God, You Are The Light In This Darkness
After getting back to Kaleo it was tough to get back into the swing of things. I had an amazing restful week away and it was tough to adjust to the busy pace that is Kaleo. I know it would be easier if it was over, but its not. I'm so glad that there is more. I know I'm not finished here and that I have a lot of growing to do within the last couple of weeks here. It was good to see people again. I have come to the point where I love the community here. In the next couple of weeks im going be more open to people and most importantly more open to God. It's been a long walk to get to where I am at and I know there is more trials to go through but I know it is creating perseverance. I honestly don't know what's next, but I'm content that I'm going find out. It has been a year of grace not only for me but for the whole group. It may not be what other Kaleo's have been but there has been lots of good. It's not good to dwell on what could have been but rather focus on whats right in front of you. I have been learning a lot to not dwell on things from the past. The people I have met before and have befriended before have been there for a reason at that time in my life. Redeemer was a good year for me, but it wouldn't be healthy for me to dwell only on the good without remembering the bad. I have been learning to let go of a lot of things which has been good for me to do. This weekend we had our second week of prayer and it was definately needed not only for me but for our group. We are all leaving on significant mission trips that are going be challenging and a test to our faith. Prayer is what strengthens us and allows us to have a intimate relationship with our creator. I am going to Argentina in a weeks time and I am so excited. Continued prayer and thought would be much appreciated.
Sunday I had the privilege of attending a beautiful church service. In my mind it was one of the best one's I have gone to this year at Kaleo. The worship was so good and I was enjoying that so much, which I usually don't on most occasions. Pastor Mark had a good message on worship and put it into a whole new perspective for me. He outlined his sermon to the Parable of the Good Samaratin and had a pretty impacting service. He said that when we grumble about going to church we are not doing the second commandment. He talked about how when we worship we are worshiping with a community of believers and when we don't want to attend we aren't lifting that person up who needs it. It needs to be selfless. I know when I was younger I used to grumble about going to church and especially grumbled when we had to sing. Over the past two sermon's I have listened to it made me realize that worship is about glorifying God and it is about loving our neighbour.
After the service we went to Pastor Marks house for an amazing time of fellowship. He talked to us about our mission trips and really encouraged us. He then prayed for our mission trips which was a huge blessing. I love hearing pastors pray and when it's specifically for you it is so impacting. I had the privilege of having my Pastor back at my home church be prayer partners with me. At first I didn't want that but it has worked out for the best and he has played a significant role in my walk with God. I enjoy going for coffee with him and catching up and it is always such a blessing to know he is praying for me as I'm out here. I'm excited to spend the summer at home and get to meet up with him.
At New Life we have met a pretty awesome couple, Jay and Michelle Brock, who are doing a church internship. Recently they made a documentary about Sex Trafficking and I had the chance to watch it tonight. They have started up Justice movie night at the church and tonight we got to watch there documentary. Michelle is really passionate for the issue and it has been on her mind for the last couple of years. Anywho, the movie was about sex trafficking in Canada. I didn't know it was so prevalent in Canada. I thought it was more of an issue overseas and in other countries. It was a very informative documentary and I recommend watching it. You can find it at their website http://www.hopeforthesold.com/ You can find it under resources. I am pretty passionate about social justice and ways to get involved so this was a good movie. Part of me next year wants to get involved with an organization to help in an area. Though it may not be sex trafficking, there are so many other ways to get involved with social justice. I hope to get a social justice movie night even in my own church this summer.
Next year I feel more and more content on taking a year off. I think I will work half and then half I want to work with an organization and like I said above I don't know what it will be. From watching the video it scares me to think of what goes on in this world, this darkness. It is horrible to even think of what man is possible. It makes me sick to think that people are trafficking humans and selling them as a commodity. It's all about power, money and greed and it sickens me. I want to bring light and the only way to do that is through God. Please pray for our government and judges as they are leaders of our country as they make decisions. Pray that they would put an end to sex trafficking in Canada and be able to fight for other countries. Pray for organizations and people like Jay and Michelle Brock. As a community of believers we have the power of prayer. Let us be a light and lead by not following the ways of this world.
Well thats all for this post. This week I have Gospels and so far so good. I feel its going be a pretty good week!
Sunday I had the privilege of attending a beautiful church service. In my mind it was one of the best one's I have gone to this year at Kaleo. The worship was so good and I was enjoying that so much, which I usually don't on most occasions. Pastor Mark had a good message on worship and put it into a whole new perspective for me. He outlined his sermon to the Parable of the Good Samaratin and had a pretty impacting service. He said that when we grumble about going to church we are not doing the second commandment. He talked about how when we worship we are worshiping with a community of believers and when we don't want to attend we aren't lifting that person up who needs it. It needs to be selfless. I know when I was younger I used to grumble about going to church and especially grumbled when we had to sing. Over the past two sermon's I have listened to it made me realize that worship is about glorifying God and it is about loving our neighbour.
After the service we went to Pastor Marks house for an amazing time of fellowship. He talked to us about our mission trips and really encouraged us. He then prayed for our mission trips which was a huge blessing. I love hearing pastors pray and when it's specifically for you it is so impacting. I had the privilege of having my Pastor back at my home church be prayer partners with me. At first I didn't want that but it has worked out for the best and he has played a significant role in my walk with God. I enjoy going for coffee with him and catching up and it is always such a blessing to know he is praying for me as I'm out here. I'm excited to spend the summer at home and get to meet up with him.
At New Life we have met a pretty awesome couple, Jay and Michelle Brock, who are doing a church internship. Recently they made a documentary about Sex Trafficking and I had the chance to watch it tonight. They have started up Justice movie night at the church and tonight we got to watch there documentary. Michelle is really passionate for the issue and it has been on her mind for the last couple of years. Anywho, the movie was about sex trafficking in Canada. I didn't know it was so prevalent in Canada. I thought it was more of an issue overseas and in other countries. It was a very informative documentary and I recommend watching it. You can find it at their website http://www.hopeforthesold.com/ You can find it under resources. I am pretty passionate about social justice and ways to get involved so this was a good movie. Part of me next year wants to get involved with an organization to help in an area. Though it may not be sex trafficking, there are so many other ways to get involved with social justice. I hope to get a social justice movie night even in my own church this summer.
Next year I feel more and more content on taking a year off. I think I will work half and then half I want to work with an organization and like I said above I don't know what it will be. From watching the video it scares me to think of what goes on in this world, this darkness. It is horrible to even think of what man is possible. It makes me sick to think that people are trafficking humans and selling them as a commodity. It's all about power, money and greed and it sickens me. I want to bring light and the only way to do that is through God. Please pray for our government and judges as they are leaders of our country as they make decisions. Pray that they would put an end to sex trafficking in Canada and be able to fight for other countries. Pray for organizations and people like Jay and Michelle Brock. As a community of believers we have the power of prayer. Let us be a light and lead by not following the ways of this world.
Well thats all for this post. This week I have Gospels and so far so good. I feel its going be a pretty good week!
2/23/11
Sleepless In Seattle
I haven't written a post in two weeks because I was on reading break and instead of only including half of the break I have decided to include the whole thing. first of all only 13(!) days till I am on my way to Argentina. It's hard to believe that this trip has come up so fast. I am excited to go. Please pray that I would be able to do the work that God calls me to do and that I will step out in faith to do effective ministry with the Argentine people. Also pray for my brothers and sisters going to India. I went on a hiking trip with them to train and man it is going be physically demanding. Pray that they would find strength to cary on an important task of prayer through a dark country.
For our overnighter we had a great time bonding with the whole team. I have to admit I was a little jealous of the India team going to Mystic Beach, but its all good. I think I will be heading there after I get back because I get back a few days before the other team. However I'm not letting that get in the way rather I'm going focus on whats ahead. We went over what we are going be doing and its going be some cool stuff. Were putting on a retreat, doing more hands on stuff, putting on an overnight camp and lastly but not as important we will take in the sights of Argentina. I hear its beautiful so I will try to get my photography skills up and running. (No promises though) I feel a lot more content about Argentina and I'm excited to see whats in store for my team.
For reading week I had the privilege of going to my Aunt and Uncle's house in Shoreline Washington. The graciously opened up there home for there "favourite" west coast nephew. I took a 2 hour and 45 min ferry ride to seattle. I got to stay in the apartment over there garage for the week. They embraced me with open arms and it was a good time for me. I needed to be away from camp to be rested, something I have trouble doing. It was a refreshing weekend and I was excited to spend it with family. My uncle and aunt reminded me of a young couple again. It's only them two at home so I got to be the child for the week. I think they liked that. It was nice that I got my own space, something that I didn't get a chance to have at home during christmas. I have to admit I didn't do a whole lot of homework done but that's okay because I needed rest most importantly. I got to run errands with my uncle and got to take in the sights and sounds of seattle. There are so many STARBUCKS in that area. It truly is the Tim Hortons of Canada, which i guess is american now....
On Saturday we took a trip to south Seattle. There we went to Pike's Market place, which was packed with people. I like going to markets so I enjoyed it quite a bit. I even got a shirt from my relatives, which had Starbucks on it! The very first one too. Those who are reading don't fret.. my allegiance hasn't switched from tim hortons to starbucks. We also went to go see The King's Speech. An excellent choice of film if I don't say so myself. Sunday was a slack day and was a day of rest for the three of us. It was a good day. On Monday we went to downtown Seattle again. This time we went on an underground tour of the city. It's rather remarkable if you ask me. The city was burned down in the late 18 hundreds and to stop the tide from wiping out the streets, the mayor decided to raise the city up a whole 15 feet! We took a tour of what Seattle looked like before and it was so cool. It's declared a historic site now. It was just so cool and really blew my mind. After that we went for India food (India team, I'm jealous but not really because we get an Argentine bbq... bon apetite!). We then went up the Seattle Space Needle. I was truly a tourist that day as I didn't go up there the first time I was there. The next day I spent attempting homework and hanging out with my uncle and Aunt. Kudos to my uncle and aunt who gave me a good week of rest and relaxation. The week seemed to fly by as I'm already back. And what an adventure it was to get back to Kaleo! (It involved a boat, a soaker, a bus, a car, and hate to say it, STARBUCKS!)
It was a good week for me to step back and debrief in a way about my time at Kaleo. A lot of good has come out of this year. I had a phone chat with my Dad and I felt content about saying I am good. He read my struggles and it has been good for me to express them. I feel I can hide a lot of my true emotions. I feel when I write on here I am able to express them a lot more. I think we will go through trials and temptations but if we persevere a lot of good will come out. As I am changing I am even seeing a lot of good out of the summer. A summer which was the hardest thing for me to do.
I will end with James 1:2-3, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance."
For our overnighter we had a great time bonding with the whole team. I have to admit I was a little jealous of the India team going to Mystic Beach, but its all good. I think I will be heading there after I get back because I get back a few days before the other team. However I'm not letting that get in the way rather I'm going focus on whats ahead. We went over what we are going be doing and its going be some cool stuff. Were putting on a retreat, doing more hands on stuff, putting on an overnight camp and lastly but not as important we will take in the sights of Argentina. I hear its beautiful so I will try to get my photography skills up and running. (No promises though) I feel a lot more content about Argentina and I'm excited to see whats in store for my team.
For reading week I had the privilege of going to my Aunt and Uncle's house in Shoreline Washington. The graciously opened up there home for there "favourite" west coast nephew. I took a 2 hour and 45 min ferry ride to seattle. I got to stay in the apartment over there garage for the week. They embraced me with open arms and it was a good time for me. I needed to be away from camp to be rested, something I have trouble doing. It was a refreshing weekend and I was excited to spend it with family. My uncle and aunt reminded me of a young couple again. It's only them two at home so I got to be the child for the week. I think they liked that. It was nice that I got my own space, something that I didn't get a chance to have at home during christmas. I have to admit I didn't do a whole lot of homework done but that's okay because I needed rest most importantly. I got to run errands with my uncle and got to take in the sights and sounds of seattle. There are so many STARBUCKS in that area. It truly is the Tim Hortons of Canada, which i guess is american now....
On Saturday we took a trip to south Seattle. There we went to Pike's Market place, which was packed with people. I like going to markets so I enjoyed it quite a bit. I even got a shirt from my relatives, which had Starbucks on it! The very first one too. Those who are reading don't fret.. my allegiance hasn't switched from tim hortons to starbucks. We also went to go see The King's Speech. An excellent choice of film if I don't say so myself. Sunday was a slack day and was a day of rest for the three of us. It was a good day. On Monday we went to downtown Seattle again. This time we went on an underground tour of the city. It's rather remarkable if you ask me. The city was burned down in the late 18 hundreds and to stop the tide from wiping out the streets, the mayor decided to raise the city up a whole 15 feet! We took a tour of what Seattle looked like before and it was so cool. It's declared a historic site now. It was just so cool and really blew my mind. After that we went for India food (India team, I'm jealous but not really because we get an Argentine bbq... bon apetite!). We then went up the Seattle Space Needle. I was truly a tourist that day as I didn't go up there the first time I was there. The next day I spent attempting homework and hanging out with my uncle and Aunt. Kudos to my uncle and aunt who gave me a good week of rest and relaxation. The week seemed to fly by as I'm already back. And what an adventure it was to get back to Kaleo! (It involved a boat, a soaker, a bus, a car, and hate to say it, STARBUCKS!)
It was a good week for me to step back and debrief in a way about my time at Kaleo. A lot of good has come out of this year. I had a phone chat with my Dad and I felt content about saying I am good. He read my struggles and it has been good for me to express them. I feel I can hide a lot of my true emotions. I feel when I write on here I am able to express them a lot more. I think we will go through trials and temptations but if we persevere a lot of good will come out. As I am changing I am even seeing a lot of good out of the summer. A summer which was the hardest thing for me to do.
I will end with James 1:2-3, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance."
2/15/11
Where Has The Time Gone...
It seems like it was just yesterday when I last posted. The weeks are going bye faster and faster. It's quite a sad thought that it will be ending so soon. Where has the time gone...
This week was a pretty solid week. I didn't think I had to change this year, but I was wrong. I have changed a lot and I'm excited about it. I let go of a lot of things and understand that i needed change this year. It has been a year of Grace and as much as I didn't think it was, it is and it keeps going back to that year. Outside of the out trips and class weeks I feel I have wasted a lot of this year in terms of building on a intimate relationship with God. On Tuesday night Tyler really brought up that guys aren't taking initiative and that the spiritual aspect of our time here has essentially not been here. It was a good reminder for me because I wanted to grow in my walk with God and by not being in the word or in prayer I am failing. There is two months left. Two months of Grace for wasting this year. I am going give my all to God and finish off strongly.
This week we had two days to rest and prepare for three days of camp ministry. It hasn't been a class I was looking forward to, but it was pretty good. Sid Koop came to teach about camp and youth ministry. He is a youth pastor in Lethbridge, Alberta and he is truly a man after God's heart. I felt encouraged by him. I wish I would have learned some of the content before working at camp because that would have been very helpful for me.
On saturday we went to town to do a photo scavenger hunt. It was pretty fun but the most important thing was hanging out with the community which hasn't always been happening.
Church was really good as well on sunday. Pastor Mark preached on what worship is and how it is to be done. It was also a good reminder for me because I'm not very good at worshiping. It helped me to know that it is about worshiping God and if there is a song I don't like I have to remember it is about worshiping God. After Church I went with the Argentina team to Melissa Holland for our teams overnighter. I am so pumped to be going. I finally have an idea of what I'm going be doing :).
This week was a pretty solid week. I didn't think I had to change this year, but I was wrong. I have changed a lot and I'm excited about it. I let go of a lot of things and understand that i needed change this year. It has been a year of Grace and as much as I didn't think it was, it is and it keeps going back to that year. Outside of the out trips and class weeks I feel I have wasted a lot of this year in terms of building on a intimate relationship with God. On Tuesday night Tyler really brought up that guys aren't taking initiative and that the spiritual aspect of our time here has essentially not been here. It was a good reminder for me because I wanted to grow in my walk with God and by not being in the word or in prayer I am failing. There is two months left. Two months of Grace for wasting this year. I am going give my all to God and finish off strongly.
This week we had two days to rest and prepare for three days of camp ministry. It hasn't been a class I was looking forward to, but it was pretty good. Sid Koop came to teach about camp and youth ministry. He is a youth pastor in Lethbridge, Alberta and he is truly a man after God's heart. I felt encouraged by him. I wish I would have learned some of the content before working at camp because that would have been very helpful for me.
On saturday we went to town to do a photo scavenger hunt. It was pretty fun but the most important thing was hanging out with the community which hasn't always been happening.
Church was really good as well on sunday. Pastor Mark preached on what worship is and how it is to be done. It was also a good reminder for me because I'm not very good at worshiping. It helped me to know that it is about worshiping God and if there is a song I don't like I have to remember it is about worshiping God. After Church I went with the Argentina team to Melissa Holland for our teams overnighter. I am so pumped to be going. I finally have an idea of what I'm going be doing :).
2/8/11
Let It Go..
I am finding it rather difficult with coming up with a blog post this week. I have been avoiding writing one for the past couple of days. I guess I have had lots on my mind. Well here goes nothing and it might be a lot of jumping from here to there, but I will try my best.
So for the past little while I have been in a down time. I am struggling with thoughts of why I am here and struggling with my walk with God. On Thursday, my intern Tyler shared his story with Kaleo and it really impacted me and really made me think. Perseverance was a big thing that I got out of his story. After his story I just went to my room and wept. It was built out emotion that came out after hearing Tyler's story and what I have been struggling with. I need to persevere through this year. It is a hard year for me and like I said last week it is not a gap year. It is a year of growth and foundation. "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4. This verse in James came up after and it just really felt like this is what Kaleo is for me. It is a trial and I can't just look to whats going happen rather i have to persevere through each day and really give my all to God. I have been holding back a lot this year and God is telling me that I have to let things go. I didnt really know what to do so for one I deleted all the emails I have been holding on to. I have also talked a lot about how good last year was for me, but in that I failed to see the bad times as well. For these next two months that I have here I am going give my all to God. I have been learning that this is not about me, it's about the community here. Jim talked about the body of Christ and how if one part doesn't do its job the whole body suffers. As i sit back and not speak out I am making the body suffer. I am learning to let go. I am having a more positive outlook on whats in front of me. It's hard when there is a lot of negativity but being negative doesn't solve anything. Maybe Kaleo wasn't what I was hoping it would be but it is a year of grace. Grace is something I am also learning. At first I like it is not a year of Grace, but it is what it comes back to. I am so thankful to be here.
I was also going through pictures this week and I came across this beauty of a pic. It has a lot of meaning behind it. I see a lot of myself in this picture. I am on the fence right now. The look that is on the boy's face is of uncertainty. This is an uncertainty of my faith. I am on the fence right now but I am learning. A wall is definately coming down slowly but surely and i am ready to get off that fence that i have gone back on. I keep thinking of the prodigal son story. I think I used to be the younger son being more care free and not really caring and now i feel as though I am the older son and what his attitude was and I feel like i need to be more like the father in that story.
Yeah I keep losing my train of thought and thats mostly whats been on my mind the last little while. I am excited to see what God has in store for me. I know I have to surrender myself to God. In order for me to have a relationship with God is going have to require me to surrender to him and to let go of whats holding me back from doing so.
This week I had Intro To Christian Theology. It was a pretty good class and it was interesting learning about the different views towards different Christian topics. I am not one for debates so thats the one thing I didn't really enjoy. I don't like the whole calvinism/arminianism debate because for me i feel that in the end it's not going to matter. I have to take what I know who God is and then maybe think about those views. I feel when we just come to a conclusion of who God is based on these views we are just going generalize who God is and put him in a box which is something we can't do. There are going be certain questions that can't be answered and were just going need to have faith and God. It is all grace.
So for the past little while I have been in a down time. I am struggling with thoughts of why I am here and struggling with my walk with God. On Thursday, my intern Tyler shared his story with Kaleo and it really impacted me and really made me think. Perseverance was a big thing that I got out of his story. After his story I just went to my room and wept. It was built out emotion that came out after hearing Tyler's story and what I have been struggling with. I need to persevere through this year. It is a hard year for me and like I said last week it is not a gap year. It is a year of growth and foundation. "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4. This verse in James came up after and it just really felt like this is what Kaleo is for me. It is a trial and I can't just look to whats going happen rather i have to persevere through each day and really give my all to God. I have been holding back a lot this year and God is telling me that I have to let things go. I didnt really know what to do so for one I deleted all the emails I have been holding on to. I have also talked a lot about how good last year was for me, but in that I failed to see the bad times as well. For these next two months that I have here I am going give my all to God. I have been learning that this is not about me, it's about the community here. Jim talked about the body of Christ and how if one part doesn't do its job the whole body suffers. As i sit back and not speak out I am making the body suffer. I am learning to let go. I am having a more positive outlook on whats in front of me. It's hard when there is a lot of negativity but being negative doesn't solve anything. Maybe Kaleo wasn't what I was hoping it would be but it is a year of grace. Grace is something I am also learning. At first I like it is not a year of Grace, but it is what it comes back to. I am so thankful to be here.
I was also going through pictures this week and I came across this beauty of a pic. It has a lot of meaning behind it. I see a lot of myself in this picture. I am on the fence right now. The look that is on the boy's face is of uncertainty. This is an uncertainty of my faith. I am on the fence right now but I am learning. A wall is definately coming down slowly but surely and i am ready to get off that fence that i have gone back on. I keep thinking of the prodigal son story. I think I used to be the younger son being more care free and not really caring and now i feel as though I am the older son and what his attitude was and I feel like i need to be more like the father in that story.
Yeah I keep losing my train of thought and thats mostly whats been on my mind the last little while. I am excited to see what God has in store for me. I know I have to surrender myself to God. In order for me to have a relationship with God is going have to require me to surrender to him and to let go of whats holding me back from doing so.
This week I had Intro To Christian Theology. It was a pretty good class and it was interesting learning about the different views towards different Christian topics. I am not one for debates so thats the one thing I didn't really enjoy. I don't like the whole calvinism/arminianism debate because for me i feel that in the end it's not going to matter. I have to take what I know who God is and then maybe think about those views. I feel when we just come to a conclusion of who God is based on these views we are just going generalize who God is and put him in a box which is something we can't do. There are going be certain questions that can't be answered and were just going need to have faith and God. It is all grace.
1/30/11
Armour-Bearer
This past week was a week to do homework and to rest from the previous week of snowboarding. I still have bruises from it but luckily no broken bones. Speaking of broken bones, it has been a year since I broke my ankle. It's crazy to think how fast time seems to fly these days. A lot has happened in this year. A crazy roller coaster of a year full of ups and downs and twists and turns. An interesting year to say the least.
Ever since coming back from snowboarding I have been going through a down time. Not really caring about anything especially doing the school work, which I did end up doing. I'm even finding it hard to grow in my walk with God. I'm struggling to stand on my feet right now. I feel as though i need to change, I know how, but for some reason I don't want to. I feel as though I am holding back a lot right now. I do like the people here, but I feel that I haven't been myself this year. I want to experience a joy I had before this roller coaster of a year. I used to say this would be a gap year and about finding a foundation. This year is challenging and it is no means a gap year of school. I don't know where I'm going next year and maybe it will be a year off. I have only a short time here and I am going to try my best to care and to break down another wall I have built up.
The community is great here when we have chapel or other times when everyone has to be out of their rooms. One cool thing that we have done is to give one another a name. Not a nickname, but a name that we hope the person will grow into. There has been great encouragement and a lot of thought put into it. The name chosen for me was armour-bearer. I am not to sure what that means yet but i know it will come to me as I grow into it. What I really appreciated was having the leaders discuss a name appropriate for me even though I have been holding back. Things that were said is that I have a servant heart and that I come along side people. Tyler, my intern (kind of like an RA), read out of 1 Samuel about Jonathan's armour-bearer. I really liked the story and there is a great imagery that comes with armour-bearer. What really came to mind when people were talking was the sense that I need to come alongside people and be loyal to them. I have this sense that I will be in the mission field someday and this image of armour-bearer is something that I can grow into that applies to what missions is about. A comment from my friend Dan a couple weeks ago also really hit me. My everyday actions, choices, and attitude does stand for something and that is God. I have to stand for God and this word armour bearer applies for that.
This past weekend I was at Missions Fest in Vancouver. There were many missionary organizations from all over the world. There were lots of seminars and lots of people who had a lot of wisdom in the mission field, something that I want to get into. I had a lot of expectations going into this weekend but they weren't met. I think it has to do with the fact that I'm holding back and it wasn't maybe the best weekend for it. That aside it was a great weekend for many people, I just wish I was more open and ready to hear what was being said. I did get to see a couple good movies and hear a couple good seminars. I wish i made better use of my time and ask the questions I needed too. From the stuff I heard I still feel a tug towards missions and I am passionate about it.
In 1 Samuel 14:7 Jonathans Armour-bearer says this, “Do all that you have in mind,” his armor-bearer said. “Go ahead; I am with you heart and soul.” I need to be with God with my whole heart and my whole soul. I hope to grow and to find rest in the Lord.
Ever since coming back from snowboarding I have been going through a down time. Not really caring about anything especially doing the school work, which I did end up doing. I'm even finding it hard to grow in my walk with God. I'm struggling to stand on my feet right now. I feel as though i need to change, I know how, but for some reason I don't want to. I feel as though I am holding back a lot right now. I do like the people here, but I feel that I haven't been myself this year. I want to experience a joy I had before this roller coaster of a year. I used to say this would be a gap year and about finding a foundation. This year is challenging and it is no means a gap year of school. I don't know where I'm going next year and maybe it will be a year off. I have only a short time here and I am going to try my best to care and to break down another wall I have built up.
The community is great here when we have chapel or other times when everyone has to be out of their rooms. One cool thing that we have done is to give one another a name. Not a nickname, but a name that we hope the person will grow into. There has been great encouragement and a lot of thought put into it. The name chosen for me was armour-bearer. I am not to sure what that means yet but i know it will come to me as I grow into it. What I really appreciated was having the leaders discuss a name appropriate for me even though I have been holding back. Things that were said is that I have a servant heart and that I come along side people. Tyler, my intern (kind of like an RA), read out of 1 Samuel about Jonathan's armour-bearer. I really liked the story and there is a great imagery that comes with armour-bearer. What really came to mind when people were talking was the sense that I need to come alongside people and be loyal to them. I have this sense that I will be in the mission field someday and this image of armour-bearer is something that I can grow into that applies to what missions is about. A comment from my friend Dan a couple weeks ago also really hit me. My everyday actions, choices, and attitude does stand for something and that is God. I have to stand for God and this word armour bearer applies for that.
This past weekend I was at Missions Fest in Vancouver. There were many missionary organizations from all over the world. There were lots of seminars and lots of people who had a lot of wisdom in the mission field, something that I want to get into. I had a lot of expectations going into this weekend but they weren't met. I think it has to do with the fact that I'm holding back and it wasn't maybe the best weekend for it. That aside it was a great weekend for many people, I just wish I was more open and ready to hear what was being said. I did get to see a couple good movies and hear a couple good seminars. I wish i made better use of my time and ask the questions I needed too. From the stuff I heard I still feel a tug towards missions and I am passionate about it.
In 1 Samuel 14:7 Jonathans Armour-bearer says this, “Do all that you have in mind,” his armor-bearer said. “Go ahead; I am with you heart and soul.” I need to be with God with my whole heart and my whole soul. I hope to grow and to find rest in the Lord.
1/23/11
Snowboarding and such
Well i think i missed a week in posting so ill summarize in this post. Theology of mission was a really good course. The thing that sucked was that we didn't get the pre work so there is a lot of homework following that class. There wasn't too much scheduled for the next week. It was a homework week to say the least. There was some interuptions that were pretty welcomed hah. I got to experience skating again. something i haven't done since breaking my ankle. I was a little nervous at first but it felt good. Other than that there wasn't to much on the go. I read a book for theology of mission called Let The Nations Be Glad which ended up being a pretty good read. I never realized how many times going out to the nations was mentioned in the Bible.
This past week I got to enjoy another out trip. This time to the mountains for a week of snowboarding! I never had the joy of going snowboarding before so it was a new challenge. We left camp at like 5:30 in the morning. That was tough getting out of bed. We spent 5 days at Mount Washington in a very nice chalet. It included 3 hottubs and i was really blown away. I'm from ontario so I really enjoy getting to see mountains everyday and now i had the opportunity to snowboard down one. It was pretty tricky for me to get the hang of it and I turned out not to be a snowboard prodigy so that was a bummer. We got to go snowboarding or skiing for 4 days and on wednesday we had the chance to go snowshoeing and snow tubing so that was really fun as well. I fell a whole bunch and didn't really snowboarded rather i snow plowed. I coud snowboard on my heals pretty good but i couldnt get it on my toes at all. I had a lot of bruises but thankfully i didnt break anything even though i want a matching scar on my right ankle..
Some people ask me what kaleo is all about and it is a hard thing to describe. People may think that its all about out trips but its something more than that. The community is a huge part of what makes kaleo. It was an incredible experience snowboarding but the chapels we had with each other and it was truly a bonding experience. These trips are part of creating the community. It hasn't been that unified but its starting. Coming back from christmas break there is a different vibe here. On the snowboard trip that vibe carried on. It was really good to get to know the people and sharing small quarters made it that much better. We are starting to give one another a name. It gave us a chance to talk to one person and we shared hopes for that one person. It was really cool and impacting for our group on a whole.
Jim, the kaleo leader, also challenged us with the questions Who is God and Who are we. It was something i needed to hear and it was really good. Having Jim as a leader is amazing. He is both wise and genuine and he really shapes kaleo into what it is. The big question i get is what i'm going do after and i honestly don't know. This year is foundational year for me and it has given me a year to essentialy find out who i am. I'm unsure of what that im going to do but im content with that. I have 12ish weeks left here and im going to make the best with the time i have left and i'll answer that question when i have a firm grasp of what i am passionate about and to hear God's call for my life
This past week I got to enjoy another out trip. This time to the mountains for a week of snowboarding! I never had the joy of going snowboarding before so it was a new challenge. We left camp at like 5:30 in the morning. That was tough getting out of bed. We spent 5 days at Mount Washington in a very nice chalet. It included 3 hottubs and i was really blown away. I'm from ontario so I really enjoy getting to see mountains everyday and now i had the opportunity to snowboard down one. It was pretty tricky for me to get the hang of it and I turned out not to be a snowboard prodigy so that was a bummer. We got to go snowboarding or skiing for 4 days and on wednesday we had the chance to go snowshoeing and snow tubing so that was really fun as well. I fell a whole bunch and didn't really snowboarded rather i snow plowed. I coud snowboard on my heals pretty good but i couldnt get it on my toes at all. I had a lot of bruises but thankfully i didnt break anything even though i want a matching scar on my right ankle..
Some people ask me what kaleo is all about and it is a hard thing to describe. People may think that its all about out trips but its something more than that. The community is a huge part of what makes kaleo. It was an incredible experience snowboarding but the chapels we had with each other and it was truly a bonding experience. These trips are part of creating the community. It hasn't been that unified but its starting. Coming back from christmas break there is a different vibe here. On the snowboard trip that vibe carried on. It was really good to get to know the people and sharing small quarters made it that much better. We are starting to give one another a name. It gave us a chance to talk to one person and we shared hopes for that one person. It was really cool and impacting for our group on a whole.
Jim, the kaleo leader, also challenged us with the questions Who is God and Who are we. It was something i needed to hear and it was really good. Having Jim as a leader is amazing. He is both wise and genuine and he really shapes kaleo into what it is. The big question i get is what i'm going do after and i honestly don't know. This year is foundational year for me and it has given me a year to essentialy find out who i am. I'm unsure of what that im going to do but im content with that. I have 12ish weeks left here and im going to make the best with the time i have left and i'll answer that question when i have a firm grasp of what i am passionate about and to hear God's call for my life
1/10/11
The Adventure Continues
Well, here I am back at Kaleo to where the adventure began. Well at camp but you get the point. I had mixed feelings to coming back. Kaleo has played a pretty significant role in my life. However, I didnt feel well rested enough to come back. Home wasn't what I expected it to be. It was a challenge but it was good to see family and friends. Had some good talks with people and one i hadn't talked to in like 9ish months so that was refreshing. I feel that the summer will be a better time to catch up with people. I didnt want to go all over the place saying hi to people because i knew i needed to catch up on sleep. For the month before and during I have been in a slump in terms of not wanting to really do anything and i think it had to do with the fact that I'm burnt out.
Anywho, I was glad i didnt stay home an extra week because otherwise I would have missed a good class. Theology of Mission. I am thinking of going into the mission field so it was good to learn about some of the theology behind mission. The prof was really engaging and it was really encouraging to learn from someone who is so passionate about what they teach. It had me really thinking of what i want to pursue in life. I hate to say it but i think i might be going to Briercrest. Its not official at all but its a big possibility. They have a Global Studies program that sounds really interesting and something that would be up my alley. The only thing for me is knowing what i want to do. Im I doing Global studies just because it sounds interesting or is Missions what i really want to do. This summer will be a good time for me to think about what i want to do. I'm going be doing two missions trips. One in Argentina and the other in New York city so ill see what happens.
One thing from last semester that i really have to change is my attitude towards New Life, my kaleo church, and my disciplines in terms of reading the bible and prayer. Youth ministry and camp ministry is a challenge for me because i am not passionate about those two things. I know they are very valuable ministries its just i am not passionate about them. I am not going to complain about it and im going do them as best as i can this semester. I hope to grow even closer to God this year and get out of the 'slump' im in right now. It's going be a fresh start this semester and I'm excited for it.
Anywho, I was glad i didnt stay home an extra week because otherwise I would have missed a good class. Theology of Mission. I am thinking of going into the mission field so it was good to learn about some of the theology behind mission. The prof was really engaging and it was really encouraging to learn from someone who is so passionate about what they teach. It had me really thinking of what i want to pursue in life. I hate to say it but i think i might be going to Briercrest. Its not official at all but its a big possibility. They have a Global Studies program that sounds really interesting and something that would be up my alley. The only thing for me is knowing what i want to do. Im I doing Global studies just because it sounds interesting or is Missions what i really want to do. This summer will be a good time for me to think about what i want to do. I'm going be doing two missions trips. One in Argentina and the other in New York city so ill see what happens.
One thing from last semester that i really have to change is my attitude towards New Life, my kaleo church, and my disciplines in terms of reading the bible and prayer. Youth ministry and camp ministry is a challenge for me because i am not passionate about those two things. I know they are very valuable ministries its just i am not passionate about them. I am not going to complain about it and im going do them as best as i can this semester. I hope to grow even closer to God this year and get out of the 'slump' im in right now. It's going be a fresh start this semester and I'm excited for it.
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