Armour-Bearer

This past week was a week to do homework and to rest from the previous week of snowboarding. I still have bruises from it but luckily no broken bones. Speaking of broken bones, it has been a year since I broke my ankle. It's crazy to think how fast time seems to fly these days. A lot has happened in this year. A crazy roller coaster of a year full of ups and downs and twists and turns. An interesting year to say the least.

Ever since coming back from snowboarding I have been going through a down time. Not really caring about anything especially doing the school work, which I did end up doing. I'm even finding it hard to grow in my walk with God. I'm struggling to stand on my feet right now. I feel as though i need to change, I know how, but for some reason I don't want to. I feel as though I am holding back a lot right now. I do like the people here, but I feel that I haven't been myself this year. I want to experience a joy I had before this roller coaster of a year. I used to say this would be a gap year and about finding a foundation. This year is challenging and it is no means a gap year of school. I don't know where I'm going next year and maybe it will be a year off. I have only a short time here and I am going to try my best to care and to break down another wall I have built up.

The community is great here when we have chapel or other times when everyone has to be out of their rooms. One cool thing that we have done is to give one another a name. Not a nickname, but a name that we hope the person will grow into. There has been great encouragement and a lot of thought put into it. The name chosen for me was armour-bearer. I am not to sure what that means yet but i know it will come to me as I grow into it. What I really appreciated was having the leaders discuss a name appropriate for me even though I have been holding back. Things that were said is that I have a servant heart and that I come along side people. Tyler, my intern (kind of like an RA), read out of 1 Samuel about Jonathan's armour-bearer. I really liked the story and there is a great imagery that comes with armour-bearer. What really came to mind when people were talking was the sense that I need to come alongside people and be loyal to them. I have this sense that I will be in the mission field someday and this image of armour-bearer is something that I can grow into that applies to what missions is about. A comment from my friend Dan a couple weeks ago also really hit me. My everyday actions, choices, and attitude does stand for something and that is God. I have to stand for God and this word armour bearer applies for that.

This past weekend I was at Missions Fest in Vancouver. There were many missionary organizations from all over the world. There were lots of seminars and lots of people who had a lot of wisdom in the mission field, something that I want to get into. I had a lot of expectations going into this weekend but they weren't met. I think it has to do with the fact that I'm holding back and it wasn't maybe the best weekend for it. That aside it was a great weekend for many people, I just wish I was more open and ready to hear what was being said. I did get to see a couple good movies and hear a couple good seminars. I wish i made better use of my time and ask the questions I needed too. From the stuff I heard I still feel a tug towards missions and I am passionate about it.

In 1 Samuel 14:7 Jonathans Armour-bearer says this, “Do all that you have in mind,” his armor-bearer said. “Go ahead; I am with you heart and soul.” I need to be with God with my whole heart and my whole soul. I hope to grow and to find rest in the Lord.

Snowboarding and such

Well i think i missed a week in posting so ill summarize in this post. Theology of mission was a really good course. The thing that sucked was that we didn't get the pre work so there is a lot of homework following that class. There wasn't too much scheduled for the next week. It was a homework week to say the least. There was some interuptions that were pretty welcomed hah. I got to experience skating again. something i haven't done since breaking my ankle. I was a little nervous at first but it felt good. Other than that there wasn't to much on the go. I read a book for theology of mission called Let The Nations Be Glad which ended up being a pretty good read. I never realized how many times going out to the nations was mentioned in the Bible.

This past week I got to enjoy another out trip. This time to the mountains for a week of snowboarding! I never had the joy of going snowboarding before so it was a new challenge. We left camp at like 5:30 in the morning. That was tough getting out of bed. We spent 5 days at Mount Washington in a very nice chalet. It included 3 hottubs and i was really blown away. I'm from ontario so I really enjoy getting to see mountains everyday and now i had the opportunity to snowboard down one. It was pretty tricky for me to get the hang of it and I turned out not to be a snowboard prodigy so that was a bummer. We got to go snowboarding or skiing for 4 days and on wednesday we had the chance to go snowshoeing and snow tubing so that was really fun as well. I fell a whole bunch and didn't really snowboarded rather i snow plowed. I coud snowboard on my heals pretty good but i couldnt get it on my toes at all. I had a lot of bruises but thankfully i didnt break anything even though i want a matching scar on my right ankle..

Some people ask me what kaleo is all about and it is a hard thing to describe. People may think that its all about out trips but its something more than that. The community is a huge part of what makes kaleo. It was an incredible experience snowboarding but the chapels we had with each other and it was truly a bonding experience. These trips are part of creating the community. It hasn't been that unified but its starting. Coming back from christmas break there is a different vibe here. On the snowboard trip that vibe carried on. It was really good to get to know the people and sharing small quarters made it that much better. We are starting to give one another a name. It gave us a chance to talk to one person and we shared hopes for that one person. It was really cool and impacting for our group on a whole.

Jim, the kaleo leader, also challenged us with the questions Who is God and Who are we. It was something i needed to hear and it was really good. Having Jim as a leader is amazing. He is both wise and genuine and he really shapes kaleo into what it is. The big question i get is what i'm going do after and i honestly don't know. This year is foundational year for me and it has given me a year to essentialy find out who i am. I'm unsure of what that im going to do but im content with that. I have 12ish weeks left here and im going to make the best with the time i have left and i'll answer that question when i have a firm grasp of what i am passionate about and to hear God's call for my life

The Adventure Continues

Well, here I am back at Kaleo to where the adventure began. Well at camp but you get the point. I had mixed feelings to coming back. Kaleo has played a pretty significant role in my life. However, I didnt feel well rested enough to come back. Home wasn't what I expected it to be. It was a challenge but it was good to see family and friends. Had some good talks with people and one i hadn't talked to in like 9ish months so that was refreshing. I feel that the summer will be a better time to catch up with people. I didnt want to go all over the place saying hi to people because i knew i needed to catch up on sleep. For the month before and during I have been in a slump in terms of not wanting to really do anything and i think it had to do with the fact that I'm burnt out.
Anywho, I was glad i didnt stay home an extra week because otherwise I would have missed a good class. Theology of Mission. I am thinking of going into the mission field so it was good to learn about some of the theology behind mission. The prof was really engaging and it was really encouraging to learn from someone who is so passionate about what they teach. It had me really thinking of what i want to pursue in life. I hate to say it but i think i might be going to Briercrest. Its not official at all but its a big possibility. They have a Global Studies program that sounds really interesting and something that would be up my alley. The only thing for me is knowing what i want to do. Im I doing Global studies just because it sounds interesting or is Missions what i really want to do. This summer will be a good time for me to think about what i want to do. I'm going be doing two missions trips. One in Argentina and the other in New York city so ill see what happens.
One thing from last semester that i really have to change is my attitude towards New Life, my kaleo church, and my disciplines in terms of reading the bible and prayer. Youth ministry and camp ministry is a challenge for me because i am not passionate about those two things. I know they are very valuable ministries its just i am not passionate about them. I am not going to complain about it and im going do them as best as i can this semester. I hope to grow even closer to God this year and get out of the 'slump' im in right now. It's going be a fresh start this semester and I'm excited for it.